


Pages of the Life

by Cerulean_Gaze



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternation of PoV, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Farewell Shinsengumi Arc — Reference Point, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 11:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18619819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerulean_Gaze/pseuds/Cerulean_Gaze
Summary: “There are words better left unsaid, and words spouted into less.So they bid their farewells into laughter— letting go of the past and moving on the present tied within their hearts.”[ Overview of Farewell Shinsengumi — Hijikata/Gintoki ]





	Pages of the Life

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Vivi — Kenshi Yonezu".

...

 

     There are words he couldn’t quite say aloud, especially for a man he once hated the most.

      It was that man who he hated at the first glance.

      That man who he always competes with.

      That man who he always curses at.

      _… That man who simply barged into his life._

      He really _hated_ him. It was always the words of hatred he threw back as this man threw back as well, probably hating him as much as he hated him. He knew it himself that there were times that they couldn’t get along with together, for only chaos brought them together like a magnet they were.

      But he knew that they were just as the same side of the magnet as times drew them closer as they were until now. He never knew that it would last long as they were right now, finding themselves on the same page of emotions as the rain poured from the skies. The clouds were dark as their hearts at, yet a silver line of those clouds cut through to him, insignificantly asked by the lost man himself.

      For that lost man was cowardly hiding behind the shadows.

      That lost man who was now facing one of his nightmares.

      That lost man who was now simply lost as he was back then.

      _… And that man who he hated the most found him from the dark._

      He couldn’t help but to found himself falling, and he hate himself for it.

      _For that man was lost himself, yet he went to save him from the abyss of loss this man fell into._

      He never knew that man as he did, after all. For only that man says nonsensical words as he was, spouting words that once stupid as he was— now was the words that he kept hidden from the lies of hatred they had. Unlike him, that man relayed words impulsively as it looked at the first glance. Pure audacity of stupidity was the only plausible words that could describe the man at once, yet it all changed with a single page turned into the same page that man faced with on the past.

      For it was a past that the man covered with his lies.

      A past that the man haunted with as he lives.

      A past that the man lost everything he had.

      _… And that man turned himself from that page for him._

      As less as the words that man gave to him, it was enough for him to understand those like it was that man himself.

 

* * *

  

      There are words he does says aloud as they weren’t supposed to be, especially to this man that was once a nobody for him, for this man even barely relates to his life. Yet he always find himself getting close to him with the people he now cherished the most ever since he lost one of them back then.

      It was the past he buried with the lies he woven with his nonchalant self, only living in the present for the people who filled the void of his life. He never dared to look back alone from it, yet it kept haunting him as time passes by, chasing him like a predator it is.

      Like a prey he was, he kept running from himself, yet only finding himself from another people in a same situation he was back then.

      Crazy as it sounds, it made him feel less lonely to face their nightmares than his own, knowing that it was like a punishment bestowed for him to bear with as long as he lives. He knew how hard it is to face the demons alone, for he was a demon of his past himself, unable to let go from the shackles of lies he had hid well from the present.

      Yet the past and present merged themselves in a form of this man lost from the stirred chaos of the events, as if the life dared him to face both of the times he had right to this man who hated his gut the most.

      As if it was to mock the life like he does, he now found himself through this man’s darkened orbs of azure sky, dulled by the nightmares as his crimson ones to contrast with. He knew he would only find himself barging in once again, knowing that it would be one of the changes that would come between the two of him.

      Ridiculous as it sounds for him, he stood next to this man under the outbursts of the skies, finally opening the clarity of both men from the different pages of their lives…

     _From the same page their hearts haunted with the most._

* * *

 

_They were on their own pages of life, sitting next to each other as they silently reminisce the earlier days when the conflicts occurred. Their pages might be merging into one for today, but both of them knew that they would soon part from their own for the best. It was them who wrote the story of their lives, after all, and the only time they have for the last moment of the chapter was to bid their farewells to each other._

_…_

_There are words better left unsaid, and words spouted into less,_

_So they bid their farewells into laughter— letting go of the past and moving onto the present tied within their hearts._

_[ fin. ]_

**Author's Note:**

> Life does sucks sometimes, but we're lucky that there's still people that would come to help us— and I'm still waiting for them to come.
> 
> To be honest, I really have this connection of the pair on this song on some of its verses for a long time already, and I only managed to write them down after experiencing the same situation. Not exactly as they were— but I'm really happy and nostalgic at the same time as I write this fic while listening to Kenshi Yonezu's songs.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this fic! Thank you and have a nice day/night, guys. ♡


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